Would You Date Someone Out Of Pity?

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1434neopets
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Would You Date Someone Out Of Pity?
Hello all, So here's the thing... I have been friends with this guy for 5 years and I've noticed him wanting to get closer to me (giving hints and such) about his feelings towards me. I have not liked him in the years I have been friends with him nor do I feel the same way as he is feeling now. However, I do feel sorry for him because he is so darn nice to me. Maybe I'm over thinking it but there's a saying about, "love is blind". Maybe that quote is this now...? Now, I just want to ask the people here in this forum if you have gone out with someone out of pity? If so, please indicate in your reply what had happened after you guys have gone out. Was it a positive or a negative experience? Did it end in a friendship note or a romantic one? If you have not have gone out with someone out of pity, please share your opinion on the situation. Sincerely, 1434sweet
saudor
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Personally i wouldnt. I mean if you /know/ if the relationship isnt gonna last, why go for it? He/she might get hurt if they get the wrong message for example however if it's just for fun, i suppose its ok. Depends on the type of guy i would imagine ----------------------------- [color=purple]Contrary to popular belief, the Irish and I are not married[/color]
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1434neopets
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Oops. I forgot to mention what kind of guy he is... He's kind of guy who would be down for anything but is at the same time shy. He is usually not my type but I have tried dating my type but they are usually too bad boy that in the end, it doesn't work. I also want to ask if curiosity is enough to date someone? ------------------------------->>>>>>>>>>>>>> After a month or so... I finally told him that I didn't want to go out with him because I did not feel the same way. HOWEVER, thinking about it now... (we have just had "THE TALK") [color=#FF0000]I feel like I made a mistake.[/color] ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. He told me he is going away for 2 months and it sounded like he wanted me to say something else and NOW, I feel like I should have had. AHHHHHHHHHH. This totally sucks. Its not like I liked him initially but thinking more about it after I have JUST talked about what I feel like makes me unhappy with my decision. So before we had "THE TALK", we were flirty and stuff. We are usually too comfortable with each other (he tells me a vast majority of things) but not as touchy as tonight. I felt confused and at the same time, too drunk/tired to think about what's right and wrong. Since we were at a party, he was drunk too so maybe... [color=blue]it just suddenly escalated to the touchy part because we were both drunk? [/color] Now thinking about it.. maybe I am not even in the right mind to think about "us"? Or that I have made a mistake. I really don't know how to even approach this because I won't be able to talk to him until September. [size=30]SO, NOW WHAT?![/size] WOW! Selling: Maps, Neggs, Stamps, Coins, Cards, ETC! http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=1434sweet#p
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I would say deff not. Its not fair to him to enter into a relationship when you don't feel the same way. Can you imagine how awful it would feel if he found out you were dating him only because you felt bad? I think if you liked him you'd find out within 5 years, so I think you're just setting up a nice guy for heartbreak. :( IMHO! But good luck with whatever you chose! :* We weren't born to follow ♥
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saudor
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Well ita up to you too. Can you handle his type. Or would You get so annoyed and pissed you'd have to start playing hide n seek on campus? (A) im personally not against curiosity, after all, many good relationship start "odd" for example. If hes a type you can put up with/dont mind, try something casual. Who knows, he might surprise you :p ie if he asks you to the movies or something, go for it but watch your vocabulary (A) guys love to get confused and start assuming hehe ----------------------------- [color=purple]Contrary to popular belief, the Irish and I are not married[/color]
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kirsty_to_stay
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IMO dating someone purely because you feel sorry for them is insanely cruel and would most likely lead to you just stringing them along and breaking their heart. Of course if you take the other route of curiosity then this is very different. Hoping going for a good guy type rather than a bad boy, then this could be different as you are exploring it for yourself too rather than because you feel sorry for them. I've never dated anyone through "pity" and have had my own fair share of bad guys. I believe in waiting for the right good guy ;) ___________ Kirsty aka "the sensitive one" Silverdragon siggy stealer Tasty tent seller
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quoidire
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Erm...how old are you? People have different reasons for dating at different stages of life (and now I sound like I'm 87...) Is it really pity? Pity is bad. Curiosity is something else entirely. But I don't think dating someone you don't genuinely want to be with is a great idea. However, since you've been friends for so long, you obviously can stand being around him. In my experience (remember I'm 87) bad boys are lots of fun, but not forever. And I'm so not even saying you're going there, but nice guys finish last, and sometimes that's what we want ;) (Is that still G-rated?) *cough*
saudor
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Me too Kirsty.... Except with girls (A) and i love how all the replies are from Xmart Lol. We need a New slogan Xmart: solving life's dilemmas one step at a time haha ----------------------------- [color=purple]Contrary to popular belief, the Irish and I are not married[/color]
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irisheyez
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If you give him a pity date you're not going to be friends with him after it's all said and done, just be prepared for that
return_of_weatherbee
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I would never date anyone out of pity. If you're curious if yall would be a good couple though (since you said you never dated him) then I think it's a great idea to date him. I mean lord, if you've known the guy for 5 years and haven't wanted to rip his throat out yet, maybe there's something there! Just don't date him because you feel sorry for him.
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I agree with what most everyone here has said...going out with someone because you feel sorry for them is incredibly cruel. And as Irish pointed out, be prepared to lose him as a friend if he finds out you only went out with him for this reason. If however, you are feeling you might have overlooked a potential relationship because he isn't the 'type' you usually find attractive, then that could be a different story. But chances are if you go out with him and find there really is no spark there for you, it could end up ruining the friendship you have now. Good luck with whatever you decide. [hr] [url=http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=inara60]Lucky Treasure Maps![/url]
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