I need your honest opinion, do you think my caption is great. Please criticize. Let me know if I can make it better.
Here is the picture link:http://www.neopets.com/games/new_caption.phtml
The caption is below.
Red Usul: Get out there and be a Shoyru!!! If you can't do that then your fired!!! We already have your replacement! He is over there!
Yellow Lutari *Thinking*: How could a Snuffly replace me.
Snuffly *Singing*: I know I believe I can fly!
Slorg: Ooooooh, Oooooh your in trouble.
Hase: You, mph, need, to,lose, errr, some wait.
Honest opinion please. *clap* *yarr* *clap* :) *clap*
Caption Contest
Thu, 10/09/2009 - 5:12pm
#1
Caption Contest
Sun, 13/09/2009 - 6:12pm
#2
Hasee**
And to be honest I don't really find it funny at all. The dialogue is very forced and there's too much of it. The best captions are generally short and concise. :(
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Sun, 13/09/2009 - 6:28pm
#3
I agree I've never seen one that long be in the actual contest, and I have no idea what your last sentence is about?
Pun or a mispelling of the word weight? :P
Sun, 13/09/2009 - 7:29pm
#4
Erm it's a bit long to be a good laugh. To shorten it, leave off those last 2 dialogs, Add a better pun into Snuffly's line, and the Red Usul says too much. I'm not good at the writing though, so I can't really help in direction of HOW to change it.
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Mon, 14/09/2009 - 7:14am
#5
i agree with davy its just to long, break it down just a bit
Visit My Dark/Earth/Toy/Usuki Store Today!
Mon, 14/09/2009 - 1:56pm
#6
[quote=jadentearz]Hasee**
And to be honest I don't really find it funny at all. The dialogue is very forced and there's too much of it. The best captions are generally short and concise. :(
[center][url=http://temptryst.deviantart.com/][/url][/center][/quote]
Thank you, I thought I needed to make it shorter, and now that I think of it, it is forced.
The Bakery
Mon, 14/09/2009 - 1:58pm
#7
[quote=Pip]I agree I've never seen one that long be in the actual contest, and I have no idea what your last sentence is about?
Pun or a mispelling of the word weight? :P[/quote]
I think I miss spelled wight. The last sentence is about the Hase pulling the Snuffly, and grunting.
The Bakery
Mon, 14/09/2009 - 1:59pm
#8
[quote=davymuncher]Erm it's a bit long to be a good laugh. To shorten it, leave off those last 2 dialogs, Add a better pun into Snuffly's line, and the Red Usul says too much. I'm not good at the writing though, so I can't really help in direction of HOW to change it.
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Thank you for good advice.
The Bakery
Mon, 14/09/2009 - 2:02pm
#9
How is this one?
Red Usul: If you can't be a Shoyru then your fired!!! Your replacement is over there!
Yellow Lutari *Thinking*: How could a Snuffly replace me.
Snuffly *Singing*: I'm a birdy tweet tweet tweet. I can soar through the sky!
The Bakery
Mon, 14/09/2009 - 2:04pm
#10
Never mined the caption changed!
Ill let y'all know the winners. Thanks for the advice.
The Bakery
Mon, 14/09/2009 - 2:10pm
#11
Here are the winners:
Lutari: Erm... I can't remember my lines.
Usul: Well, perhaps you should have studied them instead of wasting an entire
day refreshing the Create-A-Pet page in hopes of getting a free Draik!
Usul: Are you trying to tell me that the Invisible Random Event hit our ENTIRE audience?
Lutari: It's better than having to tell you that I forgot to print the fliers.
By sugarypixiestix2
Slorg: Who is this guy?
Lutari: I have no idea... he just walked in and started yelling at us.
Slorg: Oh, must be the director.
Usul: Why don't we have an audience?
Lutari: Umm...
Usul: You left the doors locked again, didn't you?
(I dont get the one below)
Usul: No, no, no, you're doing this all wrong!
Lutari: Maybe if someone would stop using my head as a platform for Hasee Bounce I'd get it right!
Usul: Uh, sorry, but the Wacky and Weird contest is already over.
Hasee: What have you been eating?!? You must weigh a ton!
Snuffly: I had an anvil for breakfast.
Lutari: What was that last line again?
Usul: You're fired!
Lutari: No, that's not quite it.
Usul: What happened to everyone in the audience?!?
Lutari: They're all rolling around on the floor laughing at this costume....
Hasee: Can we go ahead and get started? This Snuffly isn't getting any lighter and I'm already on overtime.
Lutari: I don't want to wear purple! It's an ugly colour.
Hasee: *glares*
Out of all the ideas to try and transfer a Lutari....
Snuffly: A little closer, I can almost reach his wallet!
Lutari: I'm having a hard time getting into character.
Usul: Just think about flying and how happy it makes you, and what a proud Shoyru you are.
Lutari: I hate heights...
Usul: NO, YOU DON'T! GET INTO CHARACTER!
Usul: If you're going to complain about the fit, then next time you can be the one who hangs around Uni's Clothing all day getting elbowed by restockers. I did the best I could!
The Bakery