Caption Contest

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Deidara
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Caption Contest
I need your honest opinion, do you think my caption is great. Please criticize. Let me know if I can make it better. Here is the picture link:http://www.neopets.com/games/new_caption.phtml The caption is below. Red Usul: Get out there and be a Shoyru!!! If you can't do that then your fired!!! We already have your replacement! He is over there! Yellow Lutari *Thinking*: How could a Snuffly replace me. Snuffly *Singing*: I know I believe I can fly! Slorg: Ooooooh, Oooooh your in trouble. Hase: You, mph, need, to,lose, errr, some wait. Honest opinion please. *clap* *yarr* *clap* :) *clap*
jadentearz
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Hasee** And to be honest I don't really find it funny at all. The dialogue is very forced and there's too much of it. The best captions are generally short and concise. :( [center][url=http://temptryst.deviantart.com/][/url][/center]
[center][url=http://temptryst.deviantart.com/][img]http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k4/silvlookups2/GreenBlissJ-1.jpg[/img][/url][/center]
Pip
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I agree I've never seen one that long be in the actual contest, and I have no idea what your last sentence is about? Pun or a mispelling of the word weight? :P
Spare a CC vote please? :* http://www.neopets.com/games/caption_browse.phtml
davymuncher
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Erm it's a bit long to be a good laugh. To shorten it, leave off those last 2 dialogs, Add a better pun into Snuffly's line, and the Red Usul says too much. I'm not good at the writing though, so I can't really help in direction of HOW to change it. [font=VladimirScrD][/font]00100100 00110001 00110000 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110011 01101000 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01100111 01101001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100101 00101110
[color=Gray]Good Idea: Feeding stray kittens in the park. Bad Idea: Feeding stray kittens in the park... to a bear.[/color]
Olean1
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i agree with davy its just to long, break it down just a bit Visit My Dark/Earth/Toy/Usuki Store Today!
Deidara
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[quote=jadentearz]Hasee** And to be honest I don't really find it funny at all. The dialogue is very forced and there's too much of it. The best captions are generally short and concise. :( [center][url=http://temptryst.deviantart.com/][/url][/center][/quote] Thank you, I thought I needed to make it shorter, and now that I think of it, it is forced. The Bakery
http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=fearce_dragon_hunter Sorry about not having a mall banner in. I lost it. :( So I'm making a new one.
Deidara
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[quote=Pip]I agree I've never seen one that long be in the actual contest, and I have no idea what your last sentence is about? Pun or a mispelling of the word weight? :P[/quote] I think I miss spelled wight. The last sentence is about the Hase pulling the Snuffly, and grunting. The Bakery
http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=fearce_dragon_hunter Sorry about not having a mall banner in. I lost it. :( So I'm making a new one.
Deidara
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[quote=davymuncher]Erm it's a bit long to be a good laugh. To shorten it, leave off those last 2 dialogs, Add a better pun into Snuffly's line, and the Red Usul says too much. I'm not good at the writing though, so I can't really help in direction of HOW to change it. [font=VladimirScrD][/font]00100100 00110001 00110000 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110011 01101000 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01100111 01101001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100101 00101110[/quote] Thank you for good advice. The Bakery
http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=fearce_dragon_hunter Sorry about not having a mall banner in. I lost it. :( So I'm making a new one.
Deidara
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How is this one? Red Usul: If you can't be a Shoyru then your fired!!! Your replacement is over there! Yellow Lutari *Thinking*: How could a Snuffly replace me. Snuffly *Singing*: I'm a birdy tweet tweet tweet. I can soar through the sky! The Bakery
http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=fearce_dragon_hunter Sorry about not having a mall banner in. I lost it. :( So I'm making a new one.
Deidara
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Never mined the caption changed! Ill let y'all know the winners. Thanks for the advice. The Bakery
http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=fearce_dragon_hunter Sorry about not having a mall banner in. I lost it. :( So I'm making a new one.
Deidara
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Here are the winners: Lutari: Erm... I can't remember my lines. Usul: Well, perhaps you should have studied them instead of wasting an entire day refreshing the Create-A-Pet page in hopes of getting a free Draik! Usul: Are you trying to tell me that the Invisible Random Event hit our ENTIRE audience? Lutari: It's better than having to tell you that I forgot to print the fliers. By sugarypixiestix2 Slorg: Who is this guy? Lutari: I have no idea... he just walked in and started yelling at us. Slorg: Oh, must be the director. Usul: Why don't we have an audience? Lutari: Umm... Usul: You left the doors locked again, didn't you? (I dont get the one below) Usul: No, no, no, you're doing this all wrong! Lutari: Maybe if someone would stop using my head as a platform for Hasee Bounce I'd get it right! Usul: Uh, sorry, but the Wacky and Weird contest is already over. Hasee: What have you been eating?!? You must weigh a ton! Snuffly: I had an anvil for breakfast. Lutari: What was that last line again? Usul: You're fired! Lutari: No, that's not quite it. Usul: What happened to everyone in the audience?!? Lutari: They're all rolling around on the floor laughing at this costume.... Hasee: Can we go ahead and get started? This Snuffly isn't getting any lighter and I'm already on overtime. Lutari: I don't want to wear purple! It's an ugly colour. Hasee: *glares* Out of all the ideas to try and transfer a Lutari.... Snuffly: A little closer, I can almost reach his wallet! Lutari: I'm having a hard time getting into character. Usul: Just think about flying and how happy it makes you, and what a proud Shoyru you are. Lutari: I hate heights... Usul: NO, YOU DON'T! GET INTO CHARACTER! Usul: If you're going to complain about the fit, then next time you can be the one who hangs around Uni's Clothing all day getting elbowed by restockers. I did the best I could! The Bakery
http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=fearce_dragon_hunter Sorry about not having a mall banner in. I lost it. :( So I'm making a new one.