Would You Date Someone Out Of Pity?

Submitted by 1434neopets on Sun, 30/05/2010 - 11:24am
Hello all, So here's the thing... I have been friends with this guy for 5 years and I've noticed him wanting to get closer to me (giving hints and such) about his feelings towards me. I have not liked him in the years I have been friends with him nor do I feel the same way as he is feeling now. However, I do feel sorry for him because he is so darn nice to me. Maybe I'm over thinking it but there's a saying about, "love is blind". Maybe that quote is this now...? Now, I just want to ask the people here in this forum if you have gone out with someone out of pity? If so, please indicate in your reply what had happened after you guys have gone out. Was it a positive or a negative experience? Did it end in a friendship note or a romantic one? If you have not have gone out with someone out of pity, please share your opinion on the situation. Sincerely, 1434sweet
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Thanks for the input. All replies are kind of convincing me to not go out with him. Now that I think about... maybe I shouldn't. I totally don't want to lead him on but I also don't want to hurt him. We've been friends for so long and I just don't want to end the friendship because I rejected him nor do I want to have an awkward thing going on between us. The thing is... if you really want to date someone and he/she has been your ultimate crush, wouldn't you want at least your crush to try it out? OK so.. any guys out there can tell me what kind of situation you would accept the "pity" from a girl so she could go out with you? WOW! Selling: Maps, Neggs, Stamps, Coins, Cards, ETC! http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=1434sweet#p
WOW! Selling: Maps, Neggs, Stamps, Coins, Cards, ETC! http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=1434sweet#p
1434neopets | Sun, 30/05/2010 - 12:13pm |

[quote=inara60] But chances are if you go out with him and find there really is no spark there for you, it could end up ruining the friendship you have now. Good luck with whatever you decide. [hr] [url=http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=inara60]Lucky Treasure Maps![/url][/quote] Exactly. I'm kind of pissed off that he's interested in me because at this point, we already have established our friendship relationship and even if I accept or reject his offer, things would still change between us. Is this worth the risk? Have anyone here dated a great friend that you've known for years? How did that go? WOW! Selling: Maps, Neggs, Stamps, Coins, Cards, ETC! http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=1434sweet#p
WOW! Selling: Maps, Neggs, Stamps, Coins, Cards, ETC! http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=1434sweet#p
1434neopets | Sun, 30/05/2010 - 12:16pm |

Sounds like you have no interest whatsoever in him so i would avoid it. and quoting Irish, you run the risk of losing him as a friend and things becoming mega awkward (A) And dont think guys would be too happy with pity dates lol. I could be wrong though ----------------------------- [color=purple]Contrary to popular belief, the Irish and I are not married[/color]
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saudor | Sun, 30/05/2010 - 12:20pm |

Meh, I'm sure it's a situation many find themselves in. I had a good friend at uni, who knew I was in a shitty relationship at the time. I was completely unaware he had feelings for me and one day he suddenly asked me out on a date LOL totally caught me off guard. He was a great friend, and I was worried that rejection would lead to us no longer being friends. Needless to say of course I was taken for so I had no choice but to reject. He was fine though, and we stayed friends for a long time after. Even if i'd been single he would of been a no go, totally not my type. Things were awkward at first, but we just tried to carry on as normal, and it got better. So even if he does have feelings for you, you rejecting him does not have to mean the end of a friendship, at least not if the guy is smart. A smart guy will settle for having you in their life as being better than nothing at all. ___________ Kirsty aka "the sensitive one" Silverdragon siggy stealer Tasty tent seller
___________ Kirsty aka "the sensitive one" Silverdragon siggy stealer Tasty tent seller
kirsty_to_stay | Sun, 30/05/2010 - 12:22pm |

the friendship is already over for him, i dont see how he can like you and just be a friend. that is cruel. so you either do it and try it not out of pity but out of curiosity, you may find yourself in a whole new movie lol things happen from where you least expect it. and life is short to overthink every step.i say, go for it and have fun! if something develops, then great. if not, it was still the right thing to do, giving the guy a chance. its how i see it. if you dont give him the chance, you probably are gonna hurt him more than if you actually try and it just doesnt work. but if someone really loves you and knows how to show it, you more often than not love them back... either way hope you have fun :P (and how old are you again?)
neogery | Sun, 30/05/2010 - 1:29pm |

You want an honest opinion..... Date him, do him and dump him. You should get at least some satisfaction out of it. Barnes & Neobles http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=desperately_yours&misc
525,600 Minutes http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=desperately_yours&misc
desperately_yours | Sun, 30/05/2010 - 1:56pm |

[quote=desperately_yours]You want an honest opinion..... Date him, do him and dump him. You should get at least some satisfaction out of it. Barnes & Neobles http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=desperately_yours&misc[/quote] if this is a serious post, you're an idiot lol ----------------------------- [color=purple]Contrary to popular belief, the Irish and I are not married[/color]
----------------------------- [color=purple]Protect your account[/color] http://www.neopets.com/~punchback_bob CG information & more
saudor | Sun, 30/05/2010 - 2:01pm |

Yeah. I'm definitely over thinking this. But I'm "growing" up (19) and I don't want to do stupid decisions like before when I just reject all of my guy friends for no apparent reason and then feel like I made a mistake. Anyways, desperately yours... I don't know if his tent is wide enough so I'm not really into assembling it. =) So yeah, I'm still not sure what to do but when the time is right, I'll let him know what's up. WOW! Selling: Maps, Neggs, Stamps, Coins, Cards, ETC! http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=1434sweet#p
WOW! Selling: Maps, Neggs, Stamps, Coins, Cards, ETC! http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=1434sweet#p
1434neopets | Sun, 30/05/2010 - 2:38pm |

I almost did twice. Thank god I didn't. :P I got in a huge fight with one them afterward and we don't talk anymore. And the other guy has been avoiding me ever since. Still, it's much more likely that you'll remain friends if you don't date him out of pity. I wouldn't want a guy to do that to me. :P Desperately yours... why would she want to do that to a friend? XD Petpet Paradise http://www.neopets.com/browseshop.phtml?owner=mizleah
mizleah | Sun, 30/05/2010 - 3:29pm |

I don't think curiosity or pity is a reason to date someone. If you were even remotely attracted to him, you certainly would have known by now. Some feelings would have been stirred inside way before now. As for the whole friends after wards, I think as we get older it is natural for guys and gals, even when they are just friends, to think about the what if with a friend of the opposite gender. It's human nature. How we act upon it is up to each of us. You already know how he feels about you....or is it that he is just at a bad point in his life right now and is a little confused himself and he knows that you are there and is just looking for convenience. This happens at many stages of life no matter how young or old. I would recommend you both talk about it. It might be all awkward but no worse than you both are feeling now. Ask him why the sudden change in heart. It might really help clear the air and settle things down for both of you. And if things progress, really you will know how you decide on that first kiss. If there aren't any sparks, that may say that your heart really isn't in it and that the friend route is better explored. I would like to say good luck but it doesn't quite seem appropriate as whatever is decided is just part of life experience. So maybe something more appropriate is Enjoy Life where ever it may take you!
A Simple Thank You Goes a Long Way!
bsmith97 | Sun, 30/05/2010 - 4:22pm |

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